Author Dr. Stephen Gavazzi says, “Nearly every family with a teen who has problems in school is told what they’re doing wrong. But knowing what’s wrong won’t fix anything. Your problems won’t solve your problems, but your strengths will. That’s why we focus on assets.” He goes on to explain that academic struggles are a family responsibility and not the sole responsibility of the student, adding “We have to get away from the shame and blame focus.”

A Professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Science at The Ohio State University and director of the University’s Center for Family Research, Gavazzi cites evidence based upon years of research to demonstrate, “…. the most effective way to build a plan for getting your teenager to a place that better reflects their academic abilities is through a focus on their current strengths.”

Paying special attention to 5 Facts about Strong Families, the author provides a series of step-by-step exercises designed to get parents and teens to work together to in order to create new opportunities for success in school. For more information, visit Gavazzi’s blog.

Am I ever glad I said yes to this request! He came home from school bubbling with new insights into how people conceal their true selves, the importance of finding common ground, and “being the change” through acts kindness.

Since I still couldn’t quite get my arms around the purpose of this one-day event, I visited the Challenge Day website. Far more powerful than any words, these emotionally charged videos reveal the pain that undermines so many students, and demonstrate how Challenge Day strives to fulfill its vision for every child to live in a world where they feel safe, loved and celebrated.

Teen Files 15 Minute Preview from Rodrigo Torres on Vimeo.

Bully Solution 10 Minute Preview from Rodrigo Torres on Vimeo.

“Challenge Day helps people learn to connect through powerful, life-changing programs in their schools and communities. The day-long, interactive Challenge Day program provides teens and adults with tools to tear down the walls of separation, and inspires participants to live, study, and work in an encouraging environment of acceptance, love, and respect.”

Since 1987, Challenge Day has served more than 1,000,000 youth in grades 7-12. More information can be found in the program’s FAQ. To bring Challenge Day to your school, fill out their online program request form.

Reported in the New York Times, a paper published in Journal of Adolescence says the “overall findings are contrary to cultural beliefs that boys are interested primarily in sex and not relationships.”

“Let’s give boys more credit,’’ said study author Andrew Smiler, an assistant professor of psychology at the university. “Although some of them are just looking for sex, most boys are looking for a relationship. The kids we know mostly aren’t like this horrible stereotype. They are generally interested in dating and getting to know their partners.’’

As a parent of a teenage boy, I appreciate the advice in the article:

Dr. Smiler said parents should talk to boys and girls and try to teach them about both romantic and platonic relationships, how to develop and maintain them, how to deal with ups and downs and how to forgive and regain trust.

While all parents want their children to develop — socially, emotionally, and intellectually — school-imposed assignments on parents are not going to help. Instead, such assignments cut into, or even eliminate, the few cherished evening hours or minutes that parents have with their children — time better spent lingering at the dinner table, for example, engaged in a good conversation.

In fact, unlike homework, there is a strong association between teens who regularly sit down to dinner with their families and academic success. Family dinner also leads to better psychological adjustment and lower rates of alcohol use, drug use, sexual behavior, and suicidal risk. Needless to say, teens’ diets are healthier as well.

Read “Teachers: Don’t Assign Parents Homework.“

Surprisingly, most parents are very supportive and appreciate the opportunity to be more involved in their teen’s learning. Even the parents who complain think Mr. Frye is one of the best teachers.

Some parents say they like the assignments because they can spark intellectual conversation with teenagers who are normally less than communicative. “Searching for meaning in literary works is like stretching brain-cell-taffy in this household of literal interpretations and men of few words.”

Another parent commented:

“I take it as giving back to the teacher what he is apparently giving to our kids, a lot of attention and a lot of requirements.”

What would it take to get you to do some homework?

Some schools have an exhaustive list of specific majors — 443 in the case of Florida schools — mapping to particular jobs. These include fashion, agricultural machinery mechanics, ceramics, and health.

“This is a colossally bad idea,” says Debra Humphreys with The Association of American Colleges and Universities. “I think the motivation behind the program is to get students more engaged with their work, and that’s perfectly legitimate…. But businesses are telling us that the jobs that today’s ninth-graders will eventually have don’t even exist yet and that the specific training needed for technical professions is changing rapidly.”

On the other hand, Brighton High School in Massachusetts has five school-to-college-to-career pathways like law, health, and business and technology.

Dr. Humphreys lauds creating learning communities and broad career clusters like the program at Brighton.

And it is hard to argue with the results at Brighton:

Since the pathways were implemented in 1998, the school has seen an increase in the percentage of its students that pass a state-wide exam, from 10 percent to 75 percent. Two-thirds of Brighton students go on to two- or four-year colleges.

In some countries, declaring a major early is the norm. Do you think this is a good idea?

The article, from Reuters, claims that because it’s easier for parents to contact their kids — by email, internet, webcam and mobile phone — their children have become more confident and communicative.

* Now get this: Woolfson’s survey was paid for by T-Mobile!

Too many teenagers are damaging their health by not getting enough sleep and by falling asleep with electrical gadgets on, researchers say.

A third of 12 to 16-year-olds asked slept for between four to seven hours a night. Experts recommend eight hours.

The Sleep Council, which conducted the poll of 1,000 teenagers, says gadgets in bedrooms such as computers and TVs are fueling poor quality “junk sleep”.

In fact, many experts recommend even more sleep: about 9 and 1/4 hours for a teen. And all seem to agree that removing TVs, computers, phones, and other gadgets is a critical first step.

• Create an appropriate study environment. Many students have a difficult time keeping up with their studies merely because they feel frustrated and uncomfortable when they sit down to begin them. You must be in an environment that allows for full concentration.
• Take good notes (and pay attention in class). Class time is when much of learning takes place. Paying attention in class familiarizes you with the material, and taking notes firms it up until further studying solidifies it.
• Develop effective memorization methods. Learn when to make lists, use flash cards, and create other memory tools.
• Focus on the areas that need the most attention. Many students feel that any time studying counts as real studying, but studying is less effective if you do not target the areas that need study.
• Work in groups, but only when everyone is focused on studying.
• Practice essay writing.

According to behavioral experts, adolescents generally need eight to nine hours’ sleep each night, beginning around 11 p.m., when most start feeling drowsy. Ideally, then, most students wouldn’t awaken until about 7:30 a.m — about the time most on Long Island are expected to arrive at first-period classes.

There’s a body of research on the impact of sleep and learning. Still, there is resistance to change and concerns about the impact of shifting schedules: “Sixty-five percent of students favored keeping the bell schedule the way it is. Many predicted that a change would make it more difficult to hold after-school jobs, or to participate in clubs and sports.”

Here are some things you can do:

Give permission for them to obtain a license;
Control access to the vehicle;
Set family restrictions and punishments for infractions;
Assure that the vehicle is safe;
Be a driving instructor and supervisor or provide driving lessons;
Serve as a role model for safe driving.

Like many high schoolers, John Hagen’s algebra students worry about passing.

But they also worry about rushing. And receiving. And scoring.

They’ve become miniature NFL coaches, tracking the performance of key players in their own fantasy football league. In the process, Hagen’s previously math-resistant students have joined a growing number of kids who get a kick out of multiplying and dividing points and yards so they can see whose team came out on top.

The book Hagen uses is by Dan Flockhart, a former Bay Area math teacher. As described on amazon.com, “Fantasy Football and Mathematics is an innovative program that uses real-world sports data to capitalize on the fun and dynamic phenomenon of Fantasy Sports to teach kids math.” Additional books focus on baseball, basketball, and soccer.

Your child may not (yet) be doing all-nighters, but the study “suggests that just as sleep is important for consolidating new memories after they’re learned, as other studies have shown, it’s equally important for preparing the brain to learn new things the following day.”

The message is powerful and true – though it isn’t “news” so you won’t see it on TV. The insurance company, Allstate, has a series of ads that are part of its Advocacy Campaign. They also have a novel program aimed to helping teens become safer drivers.

Consider this scary stat from their site: “Last year in the United States – and every year for the past decade – nearly 6,000 teenagers were killed in motor vehicle crashes and another 300,000 were injured.”